Fotos de Michael Jackson

Tiger, the brave pussy who saved her 97-year-old owner from getting mauled by a pack of memaw hungry pit bulls!

Sophie Thomas was primping and pruning her petals in her front yard when she felt the heat of danger singeing into her delicate and pure skin. A gang of pit bulls from next door circled around her with a look in their eyes that told Sophie they were thirsty for Metamucil-infused blood! One of the pit bulls bit at Sophie’s arm which caused her to fall back and scream.

And then, a cold wind blew through the yard and the faint sound of Michael Jackson’s “Bad” whispered out of a radio sitting near Sophie’s kitchen window. The pit bulls turned and in swooped WONDER PUSSY! Tiger gave a wink, puckered her lips and ran off. Tiger’s plan worked and the pit bulls chased after her giving Sophie a chance to escape into the house.

As Sophie cleaned her wounds, her mind wandered over to the dark image of her feline savior getting torn a part by the pit bulls. But that picture was quickly erased when Sophie saw Tiger at the front door carrying one of the pit bull’s heads in her mouth. No, she didn’t have a dog head in her mouth, but she would’ve if she didn’t feel like letting those pit bulls go with just a warning. Those dogs should be thanking the pussy gods above that Tiger was feeling charitable that day.

And we should also give thanks, because now the name Tiger will make us think of a granny saving wonder cat instead of a vaginaholic golfer who sticks it in anything that’s lubed up. VIVA TIGER!

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